The Leave is Over

Oh Boy. Its like I leapt into a random body on Quantum Leap. Where the hell have I been? We’ll get to that. Before I sat down tonight my wife approached me very seriously. “I’m glad you’re starting your blog again but I want you to promise me something…” This is when I got worried. Did she actually read some of the shit I posted last year? I assumed she’d say, “Quit talking about taking women to pound town,” or “Quit talking about me having sex with 2nd stringers.” Nope. “If you’re gonna do this again please keep your files organized on the computer.” Women. They’re all the same; well not all of them.
Did you see Brandon Spikes living the dream on chat roulette? That girl, whose dad must be proud by the way (by proud I mean ready to play his own game of Russian roulette in front of his web cam) probably never complains about his computer files being unorganized. She seems like a really sweet girl, who accepts Brandon even though his computer is probably a fucking mess. As far as commenting on the video goes, what can I say? I’m not appalled; if anything I think it’s really funny, and to be honest, good for you, Brandon, and I’ll leave it at that. I’m just surprised he didn’t put a Georgia helmet on her.
Note: Researching the Brandon Spikes sex tape was interesting. “What are you doing?” My wife said to me as I got out of bed too anxious to sleep, knowing I had to do blog research. “Watching the Brandon Spikes sex tape.” I said. “It’s research.” I’m not sure if she thought I was serious but I was looking over my shoulder every few seconds knowing my wife was in the other room. Now I have a pretty good excuse. If my wife asks me what I’m looking at I’ll be like, “Uh? Oh you didn’t hear about that big defensive tackle from Tennessee? Yeah, he also made a sex tape... with a tiny blonde cheerleader…and the defensive coaching staff from Grambling. Take a look at the desktop. Aren't these files are nice and organized, baby?"
So where was I between my last blog and now? I gotta be honest, I burnt out. I rushed that last blog about Urban’s retirement and I had enough, at least for the off- season. I said I was going to cover basketball but let’s be honest. I’m a Gator football fan first. I love basketball but I’ll catch games if I remember they’re on, watch the SEC tournament, and then the big dance. There are few of us Gator fans who truly give enough of a shit about basketball to read or write a blog about it. So much went on after Urban quit and I wanted to cover the entire saga including Lane to USC, USC on probation, and all the cheating scandals. I’ll rehash this off-season briefly in pictures.

I quit

Just kidding

Heart issues are no joke. Take it from a professional athlete who knows first hand about the stress and pressure of competing for championships on a week to week basis.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2v2jt_ric-flair-gets-a-heart-attack-on-ni_sport

I fucked UT

Reggie Fucked Me

Took 100 grand? Who me?

You'll never catch me.

Here comes the super-conference.

Nevermind

Will win the Heisman…

if glory hole receiving stats are considered.

Taking his talents to South Beach

Taking his talents and 7 or 8 kids to the New York.

What would his reality show be called? "Antonio, and his wife and another 6 women plus 8 or is it 9?"

And now for this season. Will Florida win the national title this year? No but it would be a lot cooler if we did. Thanks, Wooderson. It wouldn't surprise me if we did either.

It’s an even number year for Urban and he wins them every other year. We’ve got the tools. The defense I have a feeling will be better assuming the new coordinator isn’t completely Zookish. Brantley has a line, 3 amazing backs (maybe 4 with Brown) and hopefully a stable of receivers who end up looking good in the process. The schedule isn’t bad. Bama is ripe with a mostly new defense. That game will be a shootout like the game at Kentucky was in 07. If the Bama game is winnable, then they all are. Where could we stumble? At Tennessee doesn’t seem likely but I just can’t see them being as bad as everyone is predicting. It’s a must win for Dooley or he will be “building that program” until they fire him in 3 years. UGA in Jax could be a stumble as well. We’ll talk when that game gets closer. Miss. St. at home could catch us with our pants down and obviously Bama could pose problems on the road. That being said, we won’t lose all of those games giving us a worst case scenario of a 3 loss season. The worst I truly see is a two loss year (heading in the SEC title game). If we beat Bama in Bama, the Tide won’t make it to Atlanta.
So lets say we are the two loss SEC champs, that could be good enough to play an undefeated Ohio State, an undefeated Boise, or a 1 loss Big 12 champ. Don’t sleep on Nebraska; they’re definitely back and Ohio State’s party is officially over after this season.
SEC Championship Prediction: Florida over Auburn. The west is murderer’s row and Bama’s defense is too new. They are completely undeserving of their ranking but the voters couldn’t stomach Boise or Ohio State at 1 to start the year.
For the record, let’s just get this on the table. Boise State is garbage. They may sneak in; they could beat a team like Ohio State. Then we get a playoff. Hell, maybe they’d overturn the championship. It’s been done before. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIZafcGYUa0
I don’t know how that dispute isn’t still tangled up in federal court.

This summer on E60 I saw a piece about corrective rape. Did you catch it? If you missed it there will be a similar program on next weekend when Florida State travels to Oklahoma. Obviously next week I’ll lay it on pretty thick, but I’m just sayin, no pressure, FSU. It’s not like your entire brand is riding on that game. This is the 10th season since you were relevant. If Oklahoma does what I think they will, your image will be done after your season spirals out of control. Let’s compare our programs. FSU was really good a long time ago, like River Phoenix, and UF is really great now, like Leonardo DiCaprio. UF fans are enjoying the latest hit Inception while FSU fans are replaying the opening sequence of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade over and over again on VHS. Enjoy Norman next week, Nole fans, it’ll be your very own Viper Room.
While I’m predicting one program’s demise, I’m predicting another coach’s. Les Miles, enjoy your last year. I don’t need to explain; you’re a pathetic moron who is through riding a real coach’s coat tail. LSU will probably have a losing season and Ron Zook will have a tag team partner when he joins the WWE.
In the off season you may have seen College Football Live and their “What If” segments. I liked it better when voiceofthegators.blogspot.com did it last October.
http://voiceofthegators.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-ifs-are-for-losers-gators-are-7-0.html
If they EVER compare a football team to the movie Bloodsport or Best of the Best 2, I swear to God I’m suing. It does make me feel good that one of their producers has probably read my blog.
What to Expect Saturday
I’m looking forward to the game Saturday. I look forward to seeing all that’s changed in Gainesville since my last visit. I don’t look forward to the heat. I should probably just watch the game on ESPN but I can always watch Breakfast with the Gators Sunday, when we all look forward to Nat Moore’s confusion of verb tenses and pluralizing of last names.
Honestly, it’s Miami of Ohio. It’s a win. I’m not going to bother doing research on their team. I’m looking forward to seeing who gets the most balls at WR. Is Debose legit? Percy busted a long gain in his first game vs. UCF, but evidently Andre’s not filling the Harvin role after all. Will Mike Gillislee step up and be the guy. I think he’s our best overall back. Every time he played last year he busted one long; so if he’s only our third best option, I’m feeling really good about Moody and Demps.

Game Prediction: Florida 52 Miami 6

What I had to Google this Week
In making this blog, I have to look up certain facts and information to make sure I get it right for spelling and accuracy. I don’t want to look completely ignorant. Here’s a list of things I Googled to make this week’s blog or at least things I Googled while I was making this blog.

Masters of the Universe Dialogue (I wanted to make some references but couldn’t quite pull it off).
Donald Gibb’s Home Address
Ric Flair Heart Attack
WWF stripped championship
common grammar problems
black English vernacular
Brandon Spikes Video
Brandon Spikes Sex video
Brandon Spikes sex Video for real this time

How to hook up a web cam
How to ensure anonymity on chat roulette
Ron Zook Sex video
How to delete my search history
River Phoenix Viper Room
Blindfolded Kumite Training Techniques
How can I take my talents to South Beach?
Rippin and Tearin
How to save my soul

Random Thoughts of the Week
I stumbled upon this great website for runners during the off season. It lets you map out your run precisely. It’s called MapMyRun.com, or as females on Florida State’s campus call it, MapMyRape.com.

I really want to take a dump on a Dominos pizza and send them the picture.

I’m sick of America. It’s so PC, every parent tells their kid they're perfect (I blame Curt Hennig) and discipline has disappeared. Timeout is a big punishment these days I guess. We’re so soft as a country. When people have babies they go to these great lengths to baby-proof their homes. Whatever happened to evolution? I say fuck it. If I ever have a kid, I’m going to Darwinise my house. My home would be like a baby version of the Eliminator from American Gladiators, but with a lot more broken glass and faulty baby gates. It’s time America breeds some winners.

Fact of the Week
Lets say Bama is still legit this year and next. Did you realize that if we play them in the next two SEC title games, we will have played them 6 times in 4 years?

Weekend Football Forecast

Slap in the face pick
The first slap goes to you, Lane Kiffin. Hawaii over USC tonight in Hawaii. Muhalo, dickhead.

Missouri over Illinois, Colorado State over Colorado, ND over Purdue, Michigan over UConn (must win for Michigan), Washington over BYU, Oregon State over TCU, LSU over UNC and Va Tech over Boise State (prayin for the sake of everything that is right in the world)

2009 Season Record: 59-43

Current Championship Predictions:
BCS: Nebraska
SEC: Florida
ACC: Miami
Big East: UConn
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Nebraska
Pac 10: Oregon State
BCS Buster: At this point I only see extra major conference teams sneaking in. 2 Big 12 teams, 2 SEC schools etc.


If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. I want to get a fan mail segment going so please drop a line.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when FSU doesn’t have to rely on a fix to win the Gator Bowl. Until next time.

The Voice of the Gators

P.S. Not to beat a dead horse or anything but a promise is a promise.

USF 17 FSU 7, September 26, 2009
We will always remember.