Collective Gasp and then Sigh of Relief

I nearly cried yesterday. I gasped. Tim Tebow was on the ground in a position that has meant life altering injuries for too many football players before yesterday. For a split second I realized that I’m not such a bad person. I didn’t think about our football team; I thought about how something so bad could happen to one of the best people on the planet today. Tim Tebow’s future life flashed before my eyes. That should tell you how much he has become a part of our lives in the Gator Nation. I saw him overcoming paralysis to live a fruitful life despite a handicap. I saw him turning it into a positive. I saw him somehow becoming even more legendary for what he could achieve and how he could inspire. And then he sat up. Tim Tebow is okay and that is all we should care about.
Still as a would-be comedic writer, I stepped out of that moment and became a lesser person all too soon. I thought about all of the ways I could spin this in a funny way. After all the Teebs was okay. By the way, Charlie Strong stepped in for Urban Meyer this week on Florida Football with Urban Meyer and he kept calling him “Teebs.” I love it. So what I came up with was "Tim Tebow doesn’t wear Christopher Reeve’s pajamas." I'm a terrible person, I know. However it is what I thought. Tebow is always compared to Superman and when he was lying on the ground this is the thought that came to mind. Had he been seriously injured, the sorrowful irony would have been apparent. But this has me thinking, I love the whole Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas joke. What type of pajamas are the rest of the Gators and other important figures in sports wearing. Lets find out.

Lane Kiffin wears Ian Ziering pajamas.

Ian, those are some big DB PJs to fill.

Charlie Weiss wears Lane Bryant pajamas.
Debo from the movie Friday wears Charlie Strong pajamas.

The Predator wears Brandon Spikes pajamas.
Tim Brando wears LSU pajamas.
Zac Efron wears Riley Cooper Pajamas. Recycled joke but it still works.
Jimbo Fisher is waiting to wear Bobby Bowden’s pajamas.
Joke’s on Jimbo because Bobby sleeps in the nude. Take that mental picture and save it for a rainy day.
Ron Zook was wearing oversized pajamas but he took them to a tailor and got that corrected.
Urban Meyer wears Notre Dame pajamas whenever he wants a bigger contract from Florida.
Cade Holliday wears Rudy pajamas.
Mike Pouncey wears Maurkice’s pajamas when the laundry gets mixed up. LOL! It’s like a sitcom waiting to happen right after Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns.

See the Pouncey's Thursday Nights at 10 on TBS. Very Funny.

FSU wears USF pajamas. Burn! Believe me, Thursday’s blog will be almost all about your game against USF. By the way, I think I’m only going to speak to FSU in first person from here on out.

Mike Bianchi wears Dan Lebatard pajamas.
Brett Favre wears Wranglers to bed, period. No need to be indecisive about that. The man likes quality at a good price.

UGA fans might think Brett is a Gator judging by those jean shorts.

Drew Weatherford wears the negligee of a scorned lover.
Michael Vick wears Underdog pajamas but was getting used to the government issued variety.
Jamar Hornsby wears pajamas purchased with a stolen credit card.
Sam Bradford wears a nice set of buckskin pajamas, cowhide moccasins and a traditional ceremonial headdress.
Christian Ponder is now getting used to the idea of wearing Chris Rix pajamas.
John Brantley wears Brutus pajamas because deep down he wants to be the starter against LSU.

Et tu, Brantley?

Ole Miss wears Gucci Pajamas. I know the idea sounds nice but believe me, they are way overrated.

That is all for now. I wanted to rush out the Tebow blog. I’ll have one up Thursday recapping the Kentucky game and hopefully have a take on Tebow’s updated status. Oh and FSU, you lost to USF, just thought I’d remind you of that little tidbit of information.

If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. I want to get a fan mail segment going so please drop a line.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when FSU can actually beat a team from the state of Florida. Until next time, go Gators!

The Voice of the Gators

Take a Good Look in the Mirror, Gator Fans: Gator Arrogance and Great Moments Against Kentucky

Pardon my mediocre blogging this week; I may have come down with the flu. Enough excuses and more, well excuses. What did we learn against the Vols? Well we’re human, or at least obviously better than Tennessee but not to the point of embarrassment. They gave us a run but we learned a lot from the win. This win will hopefully serve as a wake up call like the Ole Miss game did last year, or like UNC was for FSU in 2001. Wait, that wasn’t like Ole Miss at all. FSU is still asleep…on board an oil tanker…with a drunk driving captain in waiting named Jimbo…heading straight for an ice berg off the coast of mediocrity. More on your huge victory against the Stormin Mormons later.
I still can’t believe Kiffin is talking after that game. He is by far a bad coach. His offense when it was successful was a complete copy of Alabama from the SEC championship game and at its worst showed his lack of discipline and patience as a play caller. Tennessee’s strong points came from his father, Monte, and it’s obvious. Without daddy, Lane, you’ve got nothing. You’re the George W. Bush of SEC football. Even better, you’re the Harry Osborne of SEC football, but Spiderman 3 didn’t suck nearly as bad as your offense against the Gators. Avenge me!

Back to formula?

You lost the game, so it’s time to be quiet. This isn’t the WWE where you lose your title shot and then talk your way into another match at Summerslam. This isn’t time to continue to call out Urban for discussing player illnesses. My guess is that the Gator loss will be a season peak for your team. It’s obvious that you spent the summer preparing for the Gators and only the Gators, and the loss to UCLA proved that. I’m sure your dad feels like Emperor Marcus Aurelius in the movie Gladiator embracing his pitifully-effeminate, power- hungry and genetically-watered-down son Commodus.

Losing to Florida vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

Lane: You wrote to me once, listing the four chief coaching virtues: Wisdom, patience, fortitude and clock management. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, father. Doucheyness. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Arrogance, courage, perhaps not on the gridiron calling plays, but... there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you, and to the Volunteers until Pete Carroll goes to the NFL. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your son.
Monte: Lane, your faults as a son is my failure as a father.
John Reaves stumbles in drunk, throwing up all over the newly upholstered antique sofa, and the scene ends.
If you don’t know who John Reaves is and what he’s been up to, read this:
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/college/orl-sportsjohn-reaves-18091809sep18,0,7759869.story

John Reaves

Still this was a good test for the Gators. The expectations of this game were eerily similar to the Miami Game from last year. We were huge favorites to the point it was disrespectful and motivating for our opponents. What do you think Miami and Tennessee would do if they were 20 plus point dogs? Yet this game is a perfect example of Gator arrogance. Gator arrogance has been spreading in the Southeast since Spurrier’s arrival and is now more prominent than illiteracy in the state of Florida and is actually inching closer to the numbers of same family marriage in Georgia. This is an illness, like alcoholism. We can’t help it. Ask John Reaves. This is what you get, turncoat. If you think Urban was rough on guys who go against the program… In all honesty we’re all glad you’re sober but take off the Tennessee shirt.
The arrogance is so bad to the point that I predicted a 77 point win over Tennessee last week. I must have been lying to myself or as drunk as John Reaves at beat the clock. When I predict the Gator scores, I will usually exaggerate on purpose for humor’s sake, but there is a certain amount of truth behind every joke. The arrogance clouds our judgment and makes us hide those bad feelings and suppress them into our subconscious, much like a sorority girl would after leaving Pike. I had some bad feelings about Tennessee last week but I was scared to admit it. Who would I have been to say I’m expecting a close game? I’d be a blasphemer. How dare you predict a pedestrian performance against a traditionally strong SEC opponent?
It was a frustrating game to sit through based on our arrogance. When we’re not playing well, we’ll vent and find ways to hide our poor performance. This past week we were all commenting on how terrible the commentators were. I must have screamed at Verne Lundquist 10 times during our frustrating performance last week. For the record he was terrible.
Only for a few years at the start of this decade did we really start facing reality, but it didn’t last long. Zook got us thinking straight. Thinking like losers, but thinking straight nonetheless. I more accurately predicted Gator football games during Zook’s tenure than Spurrier’s or Meyer’s. For Zook it was quite easy. Just pick us to lose the games we were supposed to win but that can of worms is for another blog. Now that I’m speaking candidly, let me use this one opportunity to let down my guard and briefly set aside my Gator arrogance and throw out some thoughts that I think many of us Gators are afraid to say.

1. We didn’t look that good against Tennessee. Period. We know this is true when we go around saying things like, “A win is a win,” or “1 and 0 in the SEC and that’s all that matters.” This is why Urban called it a great win against a great opponent after the game and then started bringing up the flu issue. Typical politics. I hate Kiffin but I agree with him on calling Urban out on this. Urban, you don’t need to play politics when you’re team is ranked number 1. Just win all the games and you’re fine, but if you lose one it’s over.

2. Our offense hasn’t been as good as Spurrier’s from the 90’s. Sure we scored more points than any other Gator team last year but it still wasn’t the same. I still don’t have the confidence in a Meyer offense that I had with Spurrier. The 90s offense was so much more calculated and consistent and I feel Meyer over-relies on his playmakers to create match-up problems. We saw what happened against UT when we were devoid of playmakers. I’m not trying to bash Meyer; I feel he is an overall better head coach than Spurrier but the offense isn’t as consistent.

3. Meyer is probably gone after this year. Search your feelings; you know it to be true. Why would he stay? He’s bound to have a down year and who wants to rebuild after winning a national title? I might be dropping the Gator arrogance but I still know that Florida is the clear cut favorite to win the national title this year. When will Meyer ever get to coach a Tim Tebow again? The NFL is the only place and what would be left to accomplish after a 3rd national championship? For the record, if anyone other than Charlie Strong took over, it would be a travesty. Can you believe he said he felt he wasn’t offered any head coaching jobs because of the negative stigma of having a white wife? Insert your favorite jungle fever joke here, because I’m not touching this one.

4. We weren’t that much better than Oklahoma in the national title game. They could have won that game and now all of a sudden Oklahoma doesn’t look so good, so how does that reflect on us? It doesn’t reflect but the thought is still there. If you don’t think Oklahoma could have won that game, you’re completely delusional. Speaking of Oklahoma, I really need to come up with an Indian nickname for Sam Bradford. “Chief” something or other. If you think of one please email it to me at Voiceofthegators@gmail.com.

5. The run is about to be over. Look at Miami earlier this decade, FSU in the 90s, and all great dynasties. It’s going to come to an end. Right now our team looks held together by the best senior class in Gator history and when that’s gone, it’s time to face reality. The dynasty will be over, at least for a couple years. How far will we fall? When will be back? Hopefully soon.

Some of this is hard to admit but I want to leave this topic with one final thought. Our arrogance could change the system one day. The BCS will eventually wrong the Gators. We might one day be left out in the cold like Texas last year, Michigan 2 years prior, Auburn before them, and USC and even Oregon in 2001. When that time comes, the Gator Nation of cry babies will speak up and all hell will break loose. Fan bases like Michigan and Texas may be polite but not the Gators. If we had been left out last year, we would have whined and cried and begged and pleaded until something happened. I truly believe when that time comes, a playoff would finally be set in motion. It feels good to come clean; which of the 12 steps is this, John? Snapping out of it.

So I was wrong about picking BYU over FSU. For the record I definitely felt FSU was probably going to win. I never said FSU will win, the pick was simply a slap in the face. You were underdogs to BYU; win or lose that’s pathetic.

USC is done for this year. Their offense is terrible and if you don’t believe it, look at tape of Pete Carrol from the Ohio State game. He was melting down and getting into his offensive coordinator’s business the whole game. He’s losing confidence and micromanaging. If they don’t get it together (they won’t), they will not be playing in the BCS this year.

What’s the deal with Miami? Are they the 9th best team? Maybe, but a win over FSU and a rebuilding GT shouldn’t constitute such a meteoric two-week jump. As I’ve said multiple times, they are capable of going 4 and 0 but don’t think OU and Va Tech aren’t paying attention. I like the Sooners to give the “u” a dose of reality. For the record I will not refer to them with a capital “U.” The University of Florida is the U. Thanks for one of the best Gator quotes ever, Louis Murphy. By the way, future D1 football parents. A player from the “u” was murdered just a couple years ago so maybe you should think that through for just a second before you continue your trend of whatever it is you call parenting.

Louis Murphy, ambassador for the real "U"

Now on with the show. The Gators travel to Kentucky this weekend, playing in what is an underestimated and often exciting SEC East series. It’s not a rivalry. They’d have to beat us within a 20 year period to call it that but they have given us more than enough scares in the past fifteen years to warrant this blog. Some of the most exciting games have been against Kentucky. For the record Florida has won 22 in a row against the Wildcats. FSU, what does your winning streak look like against Kentucky?

I give you my top five Florida Kentucky games. I’m not 60 so these will obviously be from the Spurrier coaching era on. Forget last year’s dismantling of Kentucky, here are some special games that have had some great significance for our program.

5. 2007: Just two years ago the Gators went to war with a veteran Kentucky squad. This back and forth battle was just one week after the Wildcats shockingly disposed of LSU. Kentucky was riding high and asking, “Why not us?” I think deep down Kentucky couldn’t mentally overcome the Gators. It’s hard to forget about 20 years of losing to the same team. You had to think the Gators had a chip on their shoulders, being ranked behind Kentucky in a rare turn of events. How can you forget Tebow connecting deep to Harvin late in the fourth quarter instead of trying to run out the clock?

4. 2002: In a game that had more special teams mistakes than a Pop Warner football game the Gators pulled out a thrilling 41-34 win in Gainesville that had me losing my mind. I actually remember verbally harassing a Kentucky fan until he quit cheering late in the 3rd quarter. How dare he? The Wildcats pulled within 5 after a punt return touchdown from Derrick Abney; however Keiwan Ratliff picked off a 2 point conversion pass from that fatso Jared Lorenzen returning it for two points to give the Gators a 7 point win.

Someone definitely ate his lil smokies for breakfast on gameday.

3. The year was 2003 and we didn’t realize that Chris Leak was a coward yet. He didn’t win the game all by himself, but he did prove that he was capable of leading a head-coach’s-job-saving fourth quarter comeback on the road. It’s hard to think Ron Zook would have had much job security if his Gators went 2-3 after the fifth game of his second season. Chris Leak rose to the occasion with as much poise as a freshman could have on the road, giving us 19 more games of Zook.

2. 1991: The Gators defeated Kentucky 35 to 26 to go undefeated in the SEC and lock up their first legitimate SEC championship. This was also the final SEC championship awarded without an SEC championship game, so there is some historical significance to this game. I also believe John Reaves coached this game sober, which was a first.

1. 1993: Need I explain? Some would say that the modern era of Gator football began that night. The legend of Danny Wuerffel certainly began as he connected with Chris Doering for a 28 yard td with 3 seconds left to overcome a miserable 59 minute and 57 second outing against the Cats. How did the Gators overcome a 7 interception performance to win on the road? Read the book of Revelations and maybe you’ll figure it out.
That brings us to the present day. Will UK give us a war? Or will we drop 70 en route to our 23rd straight win?


Game Expectations
I do expect the Gators to win big, but will it be to the extent of last year?

Obvious things to watch for this weekend…
How will the flu affect our guys? The one who concerns me is AJ Jones. We can’t afford to lose any starters to the flu and with Brandon Spikes battling his tendonitis, I don’t want to see any of our other linebackers operating below 100%.
Also will special teams deliver the same sort of pressure as last year? It seemed like any time Kentucky put a foot on the ball, a Gator was right there to block it.
Our running backs should run wild. Their personnel on defense are similar to Arkansas so expect a breakout performance for Rainey and Demps resembling last year’s game against the Razorbacks.
Finally will we be able to pass down field? I think yes and if we are not able to throw the ball 20 yards down field, I’d be truly concerned about our offensive ability.

Some not so obvious things to watch for…
I’m interested to see how the Gators defense holds Kentucky on 3rd down. We are not playing like a dominant defense yet and getting teams off the field fast is what we need to be doing to get the offense more snaps.
Game Prediction: Florida 49 Kentucky 9

Random Thoughts of the Week
I think Lane Kiffin really wishes he was Johnny from the Cobra Kai, but we all really know that he’s Tommy at best.

Tommy and then Johnny on the far right

The College Football Hall of Fame is moving to Atlanta. Somehow I don’t think white people will be doing the same.

Must Watch Web
Saturday Night Live is returning this week with Megan Fox. You probably hate SNL but they’ve got some really funny cast members.
Bitch Please!
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-celebrity-blogger/1085169/
For the record I do have a man crush on Bill Hader. Enjoy.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/dateline/1061641/
Scared Straight
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/scared-straight/1061547/
Karate Kid reference plus Silence of the Lambs reference equals solid gold.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/bad-guys-good-conversation/999064/

Fact of the Week
Our average margin of victory over Kentucky during this win streak is 20.14 points per game.

Weekend Football Forecast
Slap in the face pick of the week: USF over FSU. Guess what, FSU, I’m not done with you just yet. I’m still not buying it. You beat BYU, congratulations but now it’s personal. I’m picking USF over you. Is this a definitive statement that I think they’ll win? No, but I’m willing to sacrifice one of my picks to potentially embarrass you. Think of it, losing to USF. An incredibly proud Japanese man might resort to taking off his pinky with a small samurai sword for something so humiliating. I’m really hoping to jinx you on this because if you lose to USF, it’s over. All of the credibility will be gone, well what was left of it. You know you’re almost out of it when you score an upset win over BYU. This week you’ll probably win as they’re breaking in a new quarterback but I can tell you this, they’re better than Jax State or whoever you almost choked against 2 weeks ago. If you lose to USF I will mention it in every single blog I write for the rest of my life. I promise you that. 10 years from now I might be blogging about the anniversary of the Chris Benoit murder-suicide and I’ll sneak the USF reference in. Good luck though, you’re guaranteed to win.

Last week’s record: 7-3 including the Gator Game

Picks: SC over Ole Miss, Miss St. over LSU, Alabama over Arkansas (intriguing game), Virginia Tech over Miami (close), TCU over Clemson, Penn State over Iowa, Texas Tech over Houston, Georgia over Arizona State

Season Record: 19-11

Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: VT
Big East: Cincinnati
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Texas
Pac 10: USC
BCS Buster: Notre Dame and Boise State
I’m going to keep USC as my Pac 10 champ until the Cal game.


If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. I want to get a fan mail segment going so please drop a line.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when another FSU player gets a Heisman-ruining bargain at a Tallahassee area Dillards. Until next time, go Gators!

The Voice of the Gators

Looking ahead to Kentucky and Why Riley Cooper will Ruin my Marriage

First off, about the Bloodsport blog last week, I have to get something off my chest.

To the fans and readers in Gator Nation, I’m Sorry.
I’m extremely sorry, I was
hoping for a consistent season
of entertaining blogs. That was my goal, something
The Voice of the Gators has never done here.
I promise you one thing, a lot
of good will come out of this blog.
You will never see any blogger in
the entire country blog as hard
as I will blog the rest of the
season. You will never see
someone entertain the rest of the
readers as well as I will entertain
everybody the rest of the season.
You will never see a blogger
write better than I will
the rest of the season.

May God have mercy on my soul.

-The Voice of the Gators
September 17, 2009

So obviously since the tragic passing of Patrick Swayze, it's time to compare the Gators to his magnum opus, and overall classic movie, Roadhouse! Something tells me to wait on that one.

On to the Gators. Last week, Troy was a perfect match up. The Gators were tested early, got their act together, and then easily dismantled a team that would have beaten FSU. I truly think this was the best way for us to prepare for the SEC opener. Many of our players shined, one of which played so well he garnered my wife’s attention. My wife is a Gator fan as well. She knows all the Gator players and coaches: Tebow, Meyer, and, well that’s it. It’s totally cool that she’s not rabid like me. I have to write that. However, I knew I was in trouble during the game when the camera spotted Riley Cooper on the sideline without a helmet and she said, “Oh, who’s he?” Damn it!

My wife and I love to joke about our get out of jail free lists. These are the people we would allow each other be with no questions asked or no problems. It’s fun because it will probably never happen. Fun for her. She’s got Depp, Pitt, Bale, Paul Rudd, and many other handsome men with one-syllable last names. Like I’m going to truly divulge a list of this nature to my wife. This is called a trap, so I’m resigned to making a joke of my picks, so I can save face.

The only woman currently on my list is the lady from the Appliance Direct commercials. This is a big gamble on my part however if that time comes, strap up your knee brace, lady, because you’ll be getting same day delivery, in the box.

So now I have to live with Riley Cooper being on my wife’s list. Like this guy can’t catch any more breaks. He’s got a pro baseball contract and he’ll probably get a pro football contract too. Then comes the male modeling. I mean look at your picture, Riley. It looks like you just got done with a photo shoot on the beach and decided to throw on Spurrier’s old jersey and give football a shot because you woke up that morning thinking, “Hey, why not, I’m Riley Cooper and I’m great at

everything.” And you’re classy too and that’s the kicker. I look like a jerk talking bad about you. You’ll probably take that modeling career around the world and do nothing but premier shoots; I don’t see any Playgirl spreads in your future. That’s for former FSU players. And what’s with that gold chain just under your pads? How do you look so cool wearing it? Your hair is perfect and the cameras move in slow motion any time you take off your helmet or spray water into, on, or around your mouth.

You’re like the Zac Efron of Gator football. While he’s singing, dancing, and slaying tail all over the Disney Channel, you’re catching passes, hitting homers, and making the rounds on sorority row more impressively than Sexy Rexy and Jesse Palmer ever did. And you’re Riley Cooper, so you’ll probably avoid the VD. You’ve got everything, but now this? You’re a terrific baseball player but your on base percentage does not need to improve with my wife. It makes me sick because you’re turning in an awesome season so far and every time you make a catch from now on, I can only think of myself as William H. Macy’s character from Boogie Nights.Riley, this is my wife we're talking about here.

Moving on to other games that happened. Do I really need to call you out, FSU? It’s all about to spiral out of control and there’s nothing you can do about it.
USC and Ohio State proved nothing. I assure you that neither of these teams are that good. Both are on the equivalent of a Virginia Tech this year and it’s a joke that USC is ahead of Bama.
One more thing of note came to my attention this weekend. I already knew that former Kentucky basketball coach Billy Gillispie was a drunk driving piece of trash, but apparently he was taking advantage of co-eds at on campus parties and in his office. This guy was living the dream. Lets hope he was using protection, but in all likelihood he was probably taking care of business Pitino Style.

On to our opponent. I’m not really looking past Tennessee and obviously I’m going to write about this game, but not much. I personally think this is beating a dead horse and there isn’t really a fresh angle on it. Kiffin’s a douche, we get it and if you’ve seen his show, you’ll get to see that personality sparkling. My thoughts when Kiffin started shooting his mouth off were basic. How dumb is he? As a fan, Tennessee was officially off of my radar. I considered it a guaranteed win and I’m guessing most of our players did as well. That would have been a perfect scenario for Tennessee, a trap game for the Gators if you will. However Kiffin did his team in before the season ever started.

Game Expectations
There are no surprises here. Expect Florida to do everything in their power to win big.
Obvious things to watch for this weekend…
Trying to win big could end up being a problem. However I think our coaching staff is immune to this problem. If Zook was coaching, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Gators attempted big plays on early downs and had to punt on a few of the early possessions just like last week. Expect the Gators to take what is given and do what is necessary to score early and often. The fireworks will happen late in the 2nd quarter and then the floodgates will open.
Some not so obvious things to watch for…
I’m going to watch for Eric Berry. I personally don’t buy the hype but I have not seen much of him. Also if Demps is able to bust big gains against the Vols, he’ll be doing it all season long.
Game Prediction: Florida 77, Tennessee 0

Random Thoughts of the Week
I’m pretty sure it’s wrong for a guy to purposely get an eating disorder just so he can say, “Hey check out these Holocaust abs!”
Must Watch Web
If you haven’t seen The Interupter on Conan’s Tonight Show, check this out. You’ll definitely be doing imitations soon after.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/93818/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-the-return-of-the-interrupter

Fact of the Week
Lane Kiffin is 6 and 16 in his 22 football games as a head coach.

Weekend Football Forecast
First off, I’m no longer predicting an upset game of the week. I will be predicting a “slap-in-the-face” game of the week. I’ve already had two and I’m 0 and 2 but winning these picks is not the point. These picks are an insult, like throwing your shoes at the president. Western Kentucky over Tennessee, slapped. Vandy over LSU, slapped.
This week’s slap in the face pick is BYU over FSU. Slap in the face, you say? How could this be? BYU will most definitely beat FSU. Yep, and there within lies the slap in the face. FSU, you’ve fallen so far that you won’t be favored over BYU. Pick slap! Ooh! Liken this honor to a man being slapped by another man or to a father walking in on his BYU co-ed daughter with FSU grad Deon Sanders. In either scenario, you will have a hard time making eye contact with anyone again for the rest of his life. This is you, FSU. Slapped.

Last week’s record: 6-4 including the Gators Game

Picks: Miami over GT (reluctantly), Washington over USC, Notre Dame over MSU, Arkansas over UGA, Texas over Texas Tech, Nebraska over Va Tech, Auburn over West Virginia, Cincinnati over Oregon State

Authors note: this week’s picks are right on the line and I could easily go 1-9. It’s like Russian roulette without having to go to your drug addicted uncle’s funeral.
Season Record: 12-8

Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: VT
Big East: Cincinnati
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Texas*
Pac 10: USC
BCS Buster: Notre Dame and Boise State
*Changed prediction since last week. I bit the bullet and picked the Horns. However, I still think we would have annihilated them in the BCS title game last year. Saying Texas was better than OU based on one game is saying Ole Miss was better than us. I’m bothered.

Heisman Dominos
This is a segment where I will predict the Heisman Trophy winner. Consider every single player in college football to be a domino. Each week dominos will fall until we have a winner.
Who is left? It’s kind of hard to do this segment because it was mainly based on the first week joke of eliminating all of the people who deservedly had no chance in hell. I can honestly skip the formalities and we can get right down to it and narrow them down to two. Tebow and McCoy. If they have decent stats, stay healthy and undefeated it’s a 2 horse race, period. If BYU stays undefeated expect Max Hall at the ceremony to make things a bit pastier but he won’t really contend. Ask Mitt Romney.

By the way, if the Mormons had the equivalent to Middle Eastern hate websites, I’d be moving my way up those polls quickly.

If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. I’d like to have a fan mail segment to replace Heisman Dominos.

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when another FSU quarterback has a bad drug experience and proclaims he is divine. Until next time, go Gators!

The Voice of the Gators

This can’t be good…Troy’s chances of winning and mine of Eternal Damnation

Tim Tebow Looks to make the SEC say “matte” this season.

Obviously I’m going to cover the Troy game but be patient. I had to sift through several ideas to write this week’s blog. I do indeed have my list of topics that I will cover this year but all good things come to those who wait.
After scanning through the channels this week while attempting to brainstorm blog ideas, I came upon Bloodsport. Bloodsport you say? That name sound scary. What’s it about? Well, let me tell you. It’s about Gator Football. SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen Bloodsport, you still may have a shot at going to heaven. Obviously this is extremely important in analyzing the season, however; I’ll spare you the 30 page film essay avoiding the mandatory shot-by-shot breakdown of the blindfold scene and give you the bare-bones version of why Bloodsport is about Gator Football.
First off, the character parallels are uncanny. Obviously Tim Tebow is Frank Dux (Van Damme) in this comparison and Coach Meyer is obviously his Shidoshi. Chon Li, the arch nemesis could be a number of potential foes the Gators may face but I’m going with Southern Cal. Chon Li looks so tough with his bouncing, roided-up pecs but then he fights someone trained to perform the Dim Mak (aka an SEC team).

What the hell's a dim mak?

Even if you cheat by throwing some sort of blinding power in Tebow’s face, we’ll still win. In USC’s case that metaphorical blinding powder is their questionable recruiting tactics and their probable low ratio of football players who actually took their own SAT. Party’s over Pete Carrol; Frank Dux just broke your world record!

On assignment in Hong Kong’s underground and Donald Gibb, as Ray Jackson

Erin Andrews is obviously the blonde reporter who falls in love with Dux, and Ray Jackson, played by Donald Gibb of Revenge of the Nerds fame is the guy operating the keyhole camera. “Hey Frankie!”
Yep, this is still going. Clearly Nat Moore would be the agent played by Forrest Whitaker for reasons associated with his blackness and lazy eye, and Mic Hubert could be his white sidekick. I think I’ll stop now, but if you haven’t seen Bloodsport, I’d appreciate it if you never read this blog again. Bloodsport IV can currently be ordered on PPV; I haven’t seen it but I’m guessing they’ve gone the soft-core sequel route.

What’s left to Ponder? FSU still sucks.

Hey, FSU, guess what. Nope, you’re not getting your wins back. Guess again. Yep! Your season is over. The rest of your games don’t matter. You could win the rest of your ACC games but we all know that an ACC championship is worthless as you proved in 2005 when your 5 loss team was good enough to run away with that conference. Just like every year, the announcers try to validate both teams because it’s always a close game but guess what, FSU. You lost at home to a mediocre team. What does that make you? There is a reason Mickey Andrews decided he was going to retire at the end of this season. I’m going out on a limb and crossing my fingers on this prediction. I think you are one game into a losing season. Just like I said Miami could now roll to 4 and 0 based on momentum and Bradford’s injury. If BYU makes the Noles 1 and 2, you can bank it. But look on the bright side; at least you have an offensive genius in waiting to take over for Bobby. How many of those final 5 plays did Jimbo draw up anyway?

Way to make a profound political statement, TP.

Congratulations to Ohio State. You now you officially have a quarterback that scares white America. Terrelle Pryor, are you kidding me? You put Michael Vick’s name on your eye black? Tebow puts scripture numbers, and you put Vick’s name? Are you going to start hanging out with Pacman Jones? That’s like an LSU player putting “David” on one eye and “Duke” on the other. It would be like a Gator player putting “Ron” and “Zook” under his eyes. Everybody could use a second chance but what’s next? We’ll probably have Pop Warner kids wearing “Chris” and “Brown” or “Orenthal” and “James” under their eyes.


Game Expectations
Well this week will look similar to last week’s but expect our players to be a bit more motivated. Troy should have some legitimate athletes on the field and they should keep our players honest. Expect a similar outcome based on our increased effort and discipline.
Obvious things to watch for this weekend…
Will our receivers catch the easy ones? 2 touchdowns were dropped last week and that can’t happen if we’re in the middle of a true test. Let’s hope these were a product of opening-game jitters or point shaving.
Will Tebow have to run at any point against Troy? I’d be concerned if they’re getting serious pressure on him and I’d be very surprised if there are any designed quarterback keepers before the Vols come to town for their fifth failed attempt in a row.

Some not so obvious things to watch for…
I’m banking on several interceptions by our defense this week. Troy didn’t run on Bowling Green last week, so I’m guessing they’ll do the same against the Gators; and when we know they’re throwing, our defensive backs will be catching.
This will hopefully be the first of two Trojan teams the Gators beat this year.
Game Prediction: UF 59 Troy 0

Random Thoughts of the Week
I was thinking this week about what happened to Tyrone Prothro against the Gators in 2005. It was tragic and gruesome. However similar injuries have happened to even greater and more beloved athletes. Follow the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFfx4f3aimQ

Must Watch Web
Based on the obvious success of the video you just watched above, I’m going to post awesome web videos up here when they come in.
Robert is Bothered: Jimmy Fallon’s show is no good but he’s still great at sketch comedy. I’d watch all of them.
http://www.robertisbothered.com/
Scoreboardicus!
The Pat Dooley Show: This ended up being way better than I expected. Drew Copeland of Sister Hazel is definitely a well-educated Gator fan as his interview will show. Drew Copeland tries to schedule shows around Gator games (see first blog about planning your social calendar around football games). Dooley’s also got some cool segments that a true Gator fan would really enjoy.
http://www.gatorsports.com/article/20090910/ARTICLES/909109975/1136?Title=Watch-the-Pat-Dooley-Show-only-on-GatorSports-com

Fact of the Week
Escort Service: After Florida dismantles Florida International later this season, the Gators will have played and defeated every current member of the Sun Belt Conference except North Texas since 1993. What’s the matter North Texas? You’d still be able to look your mom in the eyes after getting pimped out to the Gators. North Texas’s only game played against the Gators was a win in 1947.

Weekend Football Forecast
GT over Clemson, Stanford over Wake, Michigan over ND, Tenn over UCLA, UGA over SC, USC over OSU, Vandy over LSU*, Oregon over Purdue, and UF over Troy
*upset of the week
Last week’s record: 6-4 including the Gator game

Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: VT
Big East: Cincinnati*
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Oklahoma State*
Pac 10: USC
BCS Buster: Notre Dame and Boise State*
*Changed prediction since last week

Heisman Dominos
This is a segment where I will predict the Heisman Trophy winner. Consider every single player in college football to be a domino. Each week dominos will fall until we have a winner.
Sam Bradford, you are the first one eliminated. Just like your Big 12 title, your Heisman trophy didn’t really belong to you anyway.
Terrelle Pryor, grab a seat and read above if you’re not sure why you’re eliminated.
Every player in the Big East, ACC, and Big 12 except for Colt McCoy and Dez Bryant, you are eliminated. Quit asking questions and please don’t make this about respect because I have none for you.
Every single defensive player in the country except Eric Berry and Brandon Spikes, you are eliminated. These are the only two defensive players with any real national hype but my guess is that they will be eliminated soon enough.
Offensive linemen, do we really need to get into this? Oh, you get it? Oh okay great then, take a seat next to the white wide receivers because they’re eliminated too.
I’m hearing some confusion in the back from the non BCS school players. There shouldn’t be any confusion about whether you were eliminated or not. You were never invited to sit at this table.


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You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when another FSU player steals a cashier’s check and then bets on his own game. Until next time, go Gators!

The Voice of the Gators

CSU Recap

Where to begin? First off, I really didn’t like the play by play crew for Saturday’s game. I disliked like them so much that I was banking on watching “Breakfast with the Gators” Sunday morning to get a better and more biased outlook on my team. It was the same broadcast. I flipped. Where were David Steele and Nat Moore? Had this been a well- funded blog I would have instantly had my researchers calling around and getting to the bottom of this travesty. However, no funding was necessary and Sun Sports had this listed on their website. “David Steele, Nat Moore and Steve Babik will be back starting next week with the Troy game calling Sun Sports,' "Breakfast with the Gators," Sunday morning Gator game replays.” Whew.

What we learned from Charleston Southern
Demps is definitely faster than he was a year ago. He absolutely has worked on his first step and to give this situation a cliché, he really looks like he’s being shot out of cannon when he gets the ball. The difference between Demps and Percy is field vision, and we’ll only see how much Demps has improved when Tennessee comes to town. This is the only real thing I can really throw out there because the level of our competition was so low. We can’t jump to any conclusions about our defense, offensive-line play, or special teams. One thing I will say is that it was disappointing to see Brandon James and Deonte Thompson drop perfectly-thrown-touchdown passes. That kid Tim Tebow was wheeling around before the game could have one-handed either of those passes.
Another area of concern was our two suspended players, Janoris Jenkins and Dustin Doe. I am officially sick of having thug football players. Danny Wuerffel should move his Desire Street Ministry to Gainesville to take in some of UF’s thugs. I really thought it was all going to end with Jamar Hornsby’s actions but these kids won’t learn. Suspending guys for a D2 opener isn’t exactly sending a message. If you get arrested, chances are you were doing something stupid and you should be suspended for the year whether you are found guilty or not. When the newspaper runs a feature on the lawyer getting all the thugs in your program out of jail, it’s time to change the culture. But while we are coddling these kids for the sake of crystal footballs, they should make an exception for Torrey Davis and get him back on the field ASAP.
But I digress, back to the game. Aaron Hernandez is the best athlete on the field. I’m not basing this on his well-earned touchdown this weekend but on every down he plays on offense. The guy will do whatever we need him to. Leap ten feet in the air and one-hand a ball in the corner of the end zone? Check. Pull a spin move in the middle of a pile to get 5 extra yards? Check. He can make guys miss, block with the best of them, and catch just about anything thrown his way. Here’s hoping he stays for a fourth year.
Who will be the guy after Brantley? Cam Newton never really looked like he was ready to be a QB and his playing chances went out the window with that stolen laptop. Where did he end up anyway? The next guy down on the depth chart is Jordan Reed, standing at 6’3 and about 20 pounds lighter than Tebow. I wonder what sort of player he is going to develop into…
Weekend Aftermath
First off, I was only halfway joking in picking Western Kentucky to beat Tennessee. UCLA will hopefully be a better indicator for the Vols, but either way they still have to show up in Gainesville in two weeks and take it like a man. Also a little credit is deserved for Oklahoma State. It looks like you soundly beat UGA. Either you are that good or UGA wasn’t ready for a real test that early in the year.
UCF vs. Samford turned out to be one for the ages. UCF football is a joke and so is their stadium. About 5 years ago a UCF fan was trying to talk football with me. Needless to say I was acting like hot girl talking to a not so good looking guy. I’d reply with one word answers as my eyes were wondering around the room, desperately trying to find a way out of the conversation. I can’t believe I’m even mentioning UCF football in this blog.
Again I digress, moving on. Oklahoma took it on the chin and Sam Bradford looks and probably feels like Oklahoma just swindled him out of his land. Tough break, Sam. Enjoy being the 2nd quarterback taken in the NFL draft after Tim Tebow.
Kudos to Bradford’s backup. Not for his play, because he obviously sucks, but for that mustache. Had he brought OU back for the win, that mustache would have been swimming in “it,” and every male OU student would have given it their best shot at growing one. However, that did not happen. Landry Jones’ mustache will not become that of legend; it becomes what most creepy mustaches become, something to laugh at on To Catch a Predator.
This game certainly changes FSU’s and Miami’s seasons. FSU vs. BYU all of a sudden has become “The Game of the Century.” It will be talked about by future generations of Mormons and delusional FSU fans who can’t get a grip on reality. I’m a bit disappointed to be honest. What was a lose-lose game for FSU is now a win-win. If they beat BYU they look like a tough team but if they lose, people will think BYU is actually decent and FSU gave it a good shot. With Bradford gone, Miami now gets a realistic chance of beating Oklahoma. If Miami wins tonight against FSU, they might get a little momentum going and could actually end up 4 and 0.
Notre Dame beat Nevada! Stop the press! They’re back! Jimmy Clausen threw for five touchdowns! He’s Heisman material! Can you smell the BCS yet?!?!? I’m sure you can smell the sarcasm. I’d love to get a crack at Notre Dame in the BCS championship game. I’m not sure The Irish would ever want Urban Meyer back after that game. If they do beat USC then we’ll talk.
Speaking of those cheaters, they’ll probably jump USC to number one after they beat a joke of a Buckeye team. How ridiculous was that last year when USC beat OSU? The Gators dismantled the best Buckeye team ever and proved that Ohio State is the equivalent of a middle-of-the-road SEC team, a contending Big East team, or the ACC champs, but how can you still crown a team for beating Ohio State? That is my problem with the 2007 BCS championship. The voters realized Ohio State had to be in that game, which was fine by me, but then they basically voted on the national champion before the game even started. LSU somehow jumped from 7 to 2 in a week’s time by sneaking by a Tennessee team that had 59 hung on them in the Swamp. How can you pick the 7th team? The following teams would have annihilated that Buckeye team: Florida, USC, Georgia, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, West Virginia, and I bet even FSU could have snuck in a win or at least a close game. We had an undefeated Hawaii team that was probably as good as Ohio State. I’ve forgotten where I was going with this but I want to throw up.
Speaking of vomit, Riley Cooper got his Donovan McNabb moment Saturday. “Hey, Riley! Nice Catch!” “Thanks, Coach, I really had to...BLAAAAAAH.”
In all seriousness, great game, Riley. Awesome blocking and thanks for being the only guy on the field with sure hands. I’m pretty sure that’s all I have for recap but make sure to check in Thursday night for a look at Troy, and everything else I hate about anything that is not SEC football.

Until next time,

The Voice of the Gators

Charleston Southern and my Love of Cupcakes

It’s time to get ready for Charleston Southern. You might be embarrassed by having such a team on your schedule, but not me. I’ve heard it time and time again about Florida scheduling cupcakes for the first two games. The snob in me is proud that we can sell out any home game including one against a D2 school. We could schedule spoken word poetry, call it the home opener, and it would sell out. We sell out every home game no matter what, so why would we schedule a home and home series with any of our 3 open schedule slots? Florida State does that. They should have fun out in Utah this year; I’m sure they’ll pull some really good west coast recruits on that road trip. The only time FSU will see any of those guys in Tallahassee is when they’re riding through on their ten speeds spreading the word. The upside of the BYU trip for FSU is that the probability of any of their players getting someone pregnant is significantly lower than a game in Tallahassee or anywhere else. Forget a road trip, bring on the cupcakes.

About the term cupcake, it’s not the best way to describe these teams. Let’s get right down to it; they should be called “escorts.” They get paid to lie down. The big wigs at these universities bring these teams to town, sometimes have them stay overnight, but usually send them on their way with bus fare ASAP. These teams assume the role of being a sure thing or any other role our team needs them to play that night. Our team then pummels and humiliates them in a sweaty mess that all of our fans can be proud of. The home football team finishes their business, usually in an exaggerated display, and the “escort” gets paid their money as they are shown the door. These teams are not “cupcakes,” they’re “escorts” and the Gators are dropping nearly half a million on a one-night stand this weekend.
Let’s hope we’ve done our research. We’ve seen what these escorts can do. Ask Michigan. The Wolverines thought they ordered the girlfriend experience when they brought Appalachian State into town two years ago. Dinner, a movie, and a 40 point win. Oh no. Appy State ended up being a biter, with meth teeth.

Game Expectations
Everything I’ve been reading and watching points to one fact. Yes a fact. The Gators are going to win. We are already 1 and 0. I’m not trying to jinx this thing but when the players talk about being excited to play this game so they can “work on some things,” or they’re glad because “it’s good to get the young guys experience” they’re not worried about the outcome. It’s a “tune up” game. We’re favored by 63 points and we could score 100 if we really wanted to. The coaches can’t even keep a straight face when they say they’re not looking past Charleston Southern. If any football coach ever reads this posting, please, please, please, please blatantly tell the media that you are looking past a team. Roll the dice on this one. Lane Kiffin will probably be this guy.

Obvious things to watch for this weekend…
Expect several huge runs by Rainey, Demps, and whoever else gets a few carries. Our type of speed flourishes against undermanned and out-coached defenses. If teams don’t have the meat up front to stop Rainey or Demps at the line, they’re gone (See Mon Williams versus Western Carolina in 2006).
Of course Tebow will look great but I’m expecting better than average passing numbers out of him this year. He’s lost his two go-to guys, but he was facing the same scenario last season with Caldwell and Ingram gone. He’s a fourth year player and a man amongst boys; expect Tebow to do whatever he wants against whoever he wants.

Some not so obvious things to watch for…
I’m excited to see our redshirt freshmen receivers: Hammond, Hines, and Lawrence. Something about these guys has me excited. Maybe it’s that there are 3 of them and we’ve had some awesome trios in our recent history. I get a feeling that in 2010 these guys should make John Brantley look like he should have been starting the whole time (If the Pouncey twins don’t get the NFL bug in their ear). Also I love that they all were redshirted. I’m sick of throwing guys into the fire because coaches buy into their hype. Sorry, Andre Caldwell, but you’re a prime example of a guy who needed a year to learn the system and develop before seeing time. For the record I think Caldwell developed into a really good player. Also for the record, I would love to have a staring contest with his older brother, Reche.
What will a Steve Addazio coached offense look like? I doubt it will slow down but how will his style and mind change things? Will he show defenses mercy? Here’s hoping he’s the John Kreese of coaching.

Game Prediction: UF 86 Charleston Southern 0

Random Thoughts of the Week
I don’t respect LSU’s 2007 BCS Championship.
I wonder what happened to the guy who tried to steal Jabar Gaffney’s scooter.
I wouldn’t want to be the pleats on Charlie Weiss’s pants.

Fact of the Week
The Gator football team has not lost to a religiously affiliated school since the 1992 Sugar Bowl where the Gators fell to Notre Dame.

Weekend Football Forecast
South Carolina over NC State, Boise State over Oregon, Western Kentucky over Tennessee, Georgia over Oklahoma State (was Stafford ever really a game changer for UGA anyway?), Illinois over Missouri, Oklahoma over BYU, Alabama over Virginia Tech, LSU over Washington, and Miami over FSU in their only win of their first four games.

Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: VT
Big East: Pitt
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Oklahoma
Pac 10: USC
BCS Buster: Notre Dame

Heisman Dominos
This is a segment where I will predict the Heisman Trophy winner. Consider every single player in college football to be a domino. Each week dominos will fall until we have a winner.

A look ahead this season
Why the Big 12 is garbage, Classic alcohol related Mr. 2 Bits stories, Why LSU is done, Why losing to USF is my recurring nightmare, Why I don’t think Tim Tebow would be any fun to hang around with, Why the Mountain West and WAC should join forces and form WAM, How the Gators are the key to changing the BCS, When will Ric Flair return to the Gator sidelines, and any other stories I see fit.

Until next time, go Gators!

The Voice of the Gators

Being a Gator

This being my first posting on Voice of the Gators, I find it appropriate to tell you what being a Gator means to me.

Being a Gator is yelling at an alumni for sitting during the game. Being a Gator is going to Growl every year. Being a Gator is losing your cool when you read about the top 20 traditions in college football and you don’t see Mr. 2 Bits, We are the Boys, Gator Growl, and the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Being a Gator means wondering when the orange jerseys will come back. Being a Gator means getting nervous before Florida State games even though you know we’re definitely going to win. Being a Gator means having a sweaty back at the home opener, and then the 2nd home game, the 3rd and all the way through the end of the season. Being a Gator means being the guy who jingles his car keys after we go up 7-0 as a joke and then prays to God I didn’t just jinx the team. Being a Gator means thinking my Gator Grandfather up in heaven has a little something to do with our four recent national titles. Being a Gator means you’d love to have Ron Zook come back to Gainesville, as the mascot. It means yelling at students who won’t sit down in front of you after you realize that standing at a game is indeed a young man’s game. Being a Gator means thinking some people should have to take a fan IQ test before they are allowed to enter Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. Being a Gator means finding it hard to forgive Darrell Jackson for muffing a punt he shouldn’t have even touched against Bama in 99. It means being physically intimidated in the presence of Urban Meyer. Being a Gator means getting the chills during Tim Tebow’s promise speech. Being a Gator is getting excited at church when you think Ray Graves is two aisles over, looking over nervously throughout the service only to be extremely disappointed when it turns out to be just some guy. Being a Gator means you’re envious of everyone who was enrolled during the 96, 2006, and 2008 seasons. Being a Gator fan is not pressing charges if you get attacked by a football player outside of Swamp. Being a Gator means loving the bad seasons just the same. Being a Gator fan means thinking Plaxico Burress finally got what was coming to him for pushing off in the Citrus Bowl. Being a Gator fan is doing your best ole ball coach impression. Being a Gator means having a nightmare about losing to Mississippi State the night before it happens (Zook’s last year, not this year fingers crossed). Being a Gator is hoping Tim Tebow loses his virginity to your daughter. Being a Gator is pointing out that one fan still wearing orange and blue zubaz. Being a Gator is secretly wanting to have that exact same pair of zubaz. Being a Gator is planning your fall social calendar around the Gator football schedule. That means you don’t go to weddings during Gator games, and yes this includes the home openers. Being a Gator is hoping those who have their weddings during Gator games get divorced. Being a Gator fan means you hope Charlie Strong never leaves Gainesville. Being a Gator fan means liking James Bates better than Jeff Cardozo. Being a Gator means not always remembering how to spell “Wuerffel.” Being a Gator means loving Nat Moore’s color commentary despite the occasional slipup (Percy Harvins). Being a Gator means you think Tim Tebow would be the best fighter in the UFC without any training. Being a Gator means you love the fact that Peyton Manning came back for his senior year to lose to Doug Johnson. Being a Gator means you were excited to watch the Batchelor every week with Jesse Palmer. Being a Gator means knowing we really have a 6 game winning streak against FSU starting in 2003. Being a Gator means I now have to stop, because graduating from the University of Florida allowed me to get a real job, which I now have to get back to. Go Gators!

Until next time,

The Voice of the Gators