I love Tebow but John Brantley has been in the back of our mind. I 100% believe Tebow should be our starter but we all know he’s struggling. I’m not going to trash Tebow but being a Gator fan and wanting the backup quarterback to start sort of go hand in hand. Ask Terry Dean, Doug Johnson, Jesse Palmer, Rex Grossman (The Zook Year), Ingle Martin, Chris Leak, and now Tim Tebow. Spurrier has polluted our expectations for a starting quarterback and we always look toward the bench hoping to find the next Danny Wuerffel or Rex Grossman magically waiting in the wings. Before I move on I’ve noticed that I blame Spurrier for a lot of my actions. It’s like when a sex offender blames his abusive parents. Taking responsibility for your own actions is so 1980s. Excuses are what’s hot right now.
If you haven’t thought about benching Tebow for Brantley just a little bit then you’re a liar or at the very least a little bit too comfortable with our situation. I’m the worst offender of all when it
comes to this. I’ve turned on UF quarterbacks more times than Ric Flair turned on Sting. Hopefully this is my only wrestling reference this week but it helps you quantify my…it helps you realize that I’m white trash, who am I fooling?I turned on Chris Leak during his freshman year. That’s how bad I am. I still for the record know I’m right. I feel Leak needed a redshirt without a doubt. He needed that year to get prepared and actually be ready to deal with SEC speed. However if he redshirted I don’t think he would have been able to truly claim a starting spot and of course we know Zook’s job was in jeopardy after that embarrassing loss to Tennessee. You remember that game, Gaycy Clausen connected on a Hail Mary TD at the end of the first half and we all said “F**king Zook” at the exact same time as we know the game was lost. Also I was a
big Ingle Martin fan; he would have been an amazing quarterback in Meyer’s spread. When Ingle got benched, I turned on Leak. A good quarterback can stand in the pocket, period. Leak in the pocket was twitchier than an epileptic meth addict doing a Michael J. Fox impression. He’s the only player I know who could sack himself. Sometimes it’d be like the invisible man was running a safety blitz. One good thing came from Leak. The deal Zook cut with Leak’s dad to get him into the program ensured him to start. We all basically know that. However Leak brought a lot of attention when he signed and guys like Jarvis Moss, Joe Cohen, Andre Caldwell and Earl Everett might not have been on board. The defensive core of that class won our national championship in 06. Leak did have 3 good games. At LSU as a sophomore, the SEC Championship Game vs Sas (lets see if that catches on, calling Arkansas, Sas), and the 06 BCS game. Then when you look at a Tebow run offense with the same exact talent the following year, you understand why we get antsy with our current starting quarterbacks.
The biggest thing I noticed against South Carolina this past week was Steve Spurrier’s visor. What the hell was the logo on that thing? It wasn’t a gamecock or the palm tree and moon logo. It might have been something military related. To be honest it really looked like a silhouette of Swamp Thing carrying a lady through the swamp. If that’s the case then I’m going to buy that visor. 
One of my friends likes to give me grief about the Gators, especially when they are lucky. He told me that to win a National Championship you need luck and we got lucky with that Trattou INT. After watching Breakfast with the Gators the following day I realized that we weren’t so lucky on that play. Markihe Anderson tipped that ball. Was it fortunate, absolutely but good defense made that happen just like it’s happened all year.
It has also become much more evident that Urban only trusts a select few on offense. If your name isn’t Tim Tebow, Aaron Hernandez, Jeff Demps, or Riley Cooper, you are not going to see the ball consistently. I really think that’s a shame because we have some extremely underutilized playmakers. I personally believe that David Nelson needs to get the ball at least 5 times a game. He can actually make plays after the catch. Obviously we know how Emmanuel Moody is underutilized and just when it looked like he was going to break through with that touchdown, he got injured. I was thinking all game long, “Why doesn’t Moody get the ball? If we could just get Emmanuel in space, we’d be able to fix our redzone problems.” Did you catch the soft-core porno reference? One major positive I saw was that Ommarius Hines saw a few balls and he made some nice plays after the catch. We have the personnel to be better than we are playing; we don’t have Murph or Harvin but we have the guys to better than we are now. Get Hines, Nelson and Moody the ball more. If you give the ball to 21 on the right play, you’ll get Emanuel in space.
If you watched the game then you saw the Enterprise car rental commercial. I’ve seen it a million times before but that was before I had my open forum to discuss things that bother me. You know this commercial. This young “couple” is packing for a trip and the woman (who’s probably not the wife because she’s obviously an immoral whore) asks her boyfriend (or pimp) if she should pack the red or black lingerie. He says both. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure this was just a John and a pro he hired for the weekend, in fact I’m positive. How this whore and client relate to renting a car is beyond me but I feel this is just the start of a deluge of
whore-related commercials. Now that I’m talking about whores and commercials I can’t help but think about the scene from Dirty Work where Norm and Artie stash whores in the trunks of the Cadillacs during the live commercial during the Saturday Movie Matinee.I’m just kidding about acting disgusted; sex sells and we all love it. Look at that Chase Rewards commercial where that milf uses her husband’s reward points to buy that dress. Guys, you all know the commercial I’m talking about. The one where you think if you were the husband you’d make her beg for mercy and promise to never use your hard earned points again. Then the consequences ; the little lady and her new dress will be taking a trip to “Poundtown.” Poundtown was a reference stolen from Tosh.0; if you’re not watching, you’re truly missing out. You might be thinking, oh man this guy is in trouble with his wife. You bet. But I’m throwing some honesty out
there. She has her list and Riley Cooper’s at the top. What do I have? The Appliance Direct lady and my denial of finding Kristin Stewart attractive any time my wife interrogates me about it. No one can take the Chase Financial Milf off my list. She’s stayin. Poundtown.That brings me to our first ever fan mail contest. I’ve slowly but surely had fans email me and it seems like my blog is getting passed around more and more each week (more than your daughter if she’s a first year at FSU, but that’s still a lot). Still you need to keep it going. I’ve been so busy at work I’m hardly finding time to do this blog every week. I want to make this my work so I need fans and a following. That being said, you know you’ve made it when you have fans in prison. Yes, prison. That is what the contest is all about. I already have a few people who claim to be my biggest fan. I love you, Mom and my web stalkers, but I want to know which of my fans has the biggest sentence. I’m a voice for the Gators for sure, but I’m a voice for all Gators. White, black, brown, Mexican, young, old, tan, pale, the brilliant, the dumb, the blonde, the bald, the gay, the straight, the fair-weathered, the loyal, the well endowed, and the Chinese. All means
all including the incarcerated. I liken this to when Johnny Cash played at Folsom Prison.Voice of the Gators Prison Fan Contest
Contest Rules: Must be in prison to apply. Between now and the end of the BCS games I will be accepting entries. All prisoners must email me the following: your picture with Gator gear or doing a Gator pose in prison (non-negotiable), the year you graduated from Florida State, the year you became a fair-weather fan, the terms of your sentence, any prison gang affiliations, how you got caught, and why you deserve to be VOG’s biggest fan in prison. I will also accept prison guards but to be eligible you must be in a photo with a prisoner doing a Gator pose or wearing Gator gear. The prisoner may be unconscious after a severe beating you have just administered.
Entrants will be disqualified for, photos in the shower, photos during a prison riot or beating, photos while you are being raped or raping an inmate, or any other Sister-like shenanigans.
Winners will be notified via email and will have their picture posted on the blog after the Gators win the BCS championship. Winner will also be invited to have a live web chat with the Voice of the Gators in which the transcript will then be posted on a future blog. Winner will not receive the address or any personal information from the Voice of the Gators. Winner will not receive a lesser sentence. Winner will not get any help in fighting off the black gang you’ve agitated by joining the Arian brotherhood.
I know I’ve made jokes but I honestly think this is a unique contest and as I’ve said I’m the voice for ALL Gators and if you do post an entry, I will not mock or make fun of your situation. I simply think this is a very unique experience to get a typically unheard voice out to the public in a creative way.
That being said, if you’ve got an uncle who loves the Gators but loves arson even more and is serving hard time, please pass this along to him.
Enter now! What have you got to lose? You’re in prison.
Email entries to Voiceofthegators@gmail.com
That brings us to FIU. I encourage you to actually show up and fill the stadium up, Gator fans. I’m a fan of the escorts (formerly cupcakes, read early blog on cupcakes if you’re confused) but I don’t like it after we’ve already completed the SEC schedule. What’s the point? I know I’m proud that we can actually sell these games out but let’s face it. Everyone’s calendar has been marked for FSU and Tebow’s final home stand for weeks. I really feel that Tebow needs to get a microphone and make some sort of speech at mid field at the end of that game. If it’s half as good as what Rocky did with the Soviets at the end of Rocky IV then every FSU fan in the Swamp will be cheering for Fifteen. I’m so excited for that game that I’m actually wasting good blog material for next week. That being said I really want to reiterate that I want the Gators to score 100 points on a team. It’s possible and I know its terrible sportsmanship but who wouldn’t want to watch that? I do it all the time playing NCAA on Playstation. I know FAMU knew I was going to beat them, but were they expecting 200 points. If you don’t like it, FAMU, go ahead and write a complaint letter to the good people at EA Sports and ask them why they allowed me to have fifteen minute quarters.
Game Prediction: Florida 62 FIU 10
Random Thought of the Week
I’m really hoping I don’t get my family murdered over this whole prison contest thing. LOL, it’s all in good fun until Kiefer Sutherland’s character from Eye for an Eye shows up.
Must Watch Web
A little bootlegged batch material.
Fact of the Week
Charlie Weiss has 25 losses in his first five years as Notre Dame’s head coach. That’s one loss per 10 pounds …when he was in the 4th grade.
Weekend Football Forecast
Hey, USC, way to finally live up to the billing I gave you at the beginning of the year. Oh wait, this is the third time you’ve lived up to it. I predicted the Washington, Oregon, and Stanford losses. Pathetic. I haven’t even looked at the schedule yet and I’m not sure who you are playing but I’m predicting a loss again because you’re a joke. The pollsters proved how pathetic they are when you were ranked in the top 10 after your first loss. Oh I totally looked at the schedule and you’re not playing; looks like you’re off the hook. I’m not even going to pick anyone else. I’m holding out for you; consider this a slap in waiting which is way more effective than a coach in waiting.
Last week’s record: 9-1.
UCONN over Notre Dame, FSU over Maryland (reluctantly and I’ll probably be wrong as backup quarterbacks usually only play well in that first game and then falter), Ohio State over Michigan, Miss St. over Arkansas (hoping more than thinking), Ole Miss over LSU, Tennessee over Vandy in a war, UGA over Kentucky, Stanford over Cal, Oklahoma over Texas Tech
Season Record: 59-43
Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: GT
Big East: Cincinnati
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Texas
Pac 10: Oregon
BCS Buster: UCF*
*by buster I mean go f*** yourself, UCF. I still like TCU for the BCS.
If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when FSU actually wins a game wearing novelty uniforms. Until next time.
The Voice of the Gators
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