you think Bob Tebow gets his clothes out of a dumpster? I understand that you are very conservative and Christian but where in the Bible does it say you’re not allowed to own a mirror? Have you looked at yourself lately? Do you get a sneak peak before you walk out the door on game day? You look like a Farside comic in human form. I’m not sure about the look you’re going for during the games. If I had to describe it I’d call it “asshole vogue.” You look like John Wayne trying to fit in during the early 90’s Starter Jacket fashion Craze. I’m surprised 
UAA hasn’t been on this and found a Gator polo and baseball hat for you but they've been busy living up to their Nike contract and putting the Gators in terrible uniforms.I mentioned last week that I like that Urban doesn’t resort to uniform ploys
and now we get hit with this. If we are going to drastically change up the uniform, lets go all orange and get it over with. But no, we end up with this Nike BS for Tebow's last home game. First it was that orange sleeve nonsense for Florida Georgia in 05 and now this. By the way I call those orange sleeve jerseys the storm trooper jerseys. Not to sound too much like a college student but these new uniforms are “gay.” The throwbacks from a few years back were awesome but for a supposedly “futuristic” uniform, these new ones are pretty bland. Why not really mix it 
up and hire a modern artist to air brush images onto our uniforms. We’d ask for Gator related images but knowing “modern artists” we’d end up with male genitalia painted on the front of the pants and unfortunately on the butts and near the opening of the helmets.I haven’t mentioned uniforms too often this season but I am definitely a uniform junkie. I’ve developed a coding system to help you translate the importance of the game by what uniform we wear.
Blue top white pants: This is the “we don’t respect our opponent” attire. This can also be translated as “we don’t want our opponents to think we respect them” attire. Imagine what UT would be thinking coming into the Swamp seeing the Gators wearing blue tops and white pants. I’d be pretty disappointed if I was a Vol. “They didn’t even wear blue on blue for us. How far have we fallen?”
White top and white pants: This is our road business attire. This was quite a delicacy in the 90s when we’d only wear it on special occasions but Zook made this a common road uniform and Urban has solidified it as our standard away uniform. This uniform means no nonsense and many white supremacists may feel it represents the “purity” of the game.
Blue tops and blue pants: This is our “we need to get up for this game” attire. This is also the special occasion attire, a football tuxedo if you will. This uniform may be seen for homecoming and the final home games of the season.
White top and blue pants: this is our new special occaision road uniform. This is totally garbage as we won our first national title in this attire. We need to even the mix in the pant selection department.
White top and orange pants: This was our “hot pants” uniform. This means special occasion road game, and if you are a Bama fan it means the end of Tyrone Prothro’s career. It was a sad day, not for Prothro, but it was the last time we have seen the hot pants.
Blue tops and orange pants: It has been too long since we’ve seen this uniform combination and
unfortunately it will be longer. When you see this uniform it will signal “biggest home game ever.” Expect a return of this uniform for Bama at Florida in 2011.I don’t want to be one of those blogs that does a whole segment on football look-a-likes but I couldn’t get over how similar Vandy’s coach looks like Steve Martin. To entertain myself during the boring game I kept saying Steve Martin related things like, “It’s gotta be difficult to coach an SEC school while having 12 kids and a not-so-bangable Bonnie Hunt waiting at home.” “What a jerk,” was an obvious favorite throughout the game as well and “Bowfinger was a piece of shit movie! That’s why Vandy sucks!” was pretty good too.
If you like old movies too I’ve been noticing lately that Mickey 
Andrews from FSU really looks like the Lars Thorwald, the murderer in Rear Window. The only thing Mickey Andrews’ neighbors will see out their back window is Chuck Amato and Bobby Bowden sunbathing in sequenced banana hammocks. This week’s blog is definitely turning into the “gay” blog. Last week was all about suicide and wrestling and this week…well last week was definitely gay too.
Urban Meyer was fined last week for his comments about the officials in the Georgia game. I smell set up. I think Urban did this on purpose to get the heat off the SEC for fixing Gator games. Call me crazy but Urban has been playing politics way too often this year and I wouldn’t be surprised if he went overboard with this recent incident on purpose. I’m not saying this is definitely how it is but I wouldn’t be surprised.
When I was growing up I knew this insurance salesman. For the sake of this story, let’s call him my dad. My dad was a proud guy and would get upset when people wouldn’t buy insurance from him or when they cancelled their existing coverage. My dad remembered these people. Most of these people owned their own businesses and from time to time they would go out of business. My dad would love to tell me that they went out of business because they cancelled their coverage. Would he gloat about it? Definitely. Is it a little bit twisted and spiteful? Oh yeah. Do I exhibit the same behavior based on the generational stronghold forced on me by my father? Without a doubt. As you have read in previous blogs I can hold a grudge and be spiteful to others for wrongs of the past. Ask Darrell Jackson, that punt muffing SOB. Well, when I get the most upset is when talented football players scorn UF for lesser schools. I was really upset at C.J. Spiller for picking Clemson over us and Antonio Cromartie for picking FSU. I wish them the worst and if the worst happens, I chalk it up to this really F***ed up Karma I believe in that was instilled in me by my father. That being said, Nu’Keese Richardson, I hope you’re happy up there in Knoxville. You caused such a stir with that whole recruiting violation scandal that Lane uncovered. You must be on top of the world up there. Big fish in a small pond; they probably love you so much that they just give you things for free.
Urban Meyer was fined last week for his comments about the officials in the Georgia game. I smell set up. I think Urban did this on purpose to get the heat off the SEC for fixing Gator games. Call me crazy but Urban has been playing politics way too often this year and I wouldn’t be surprised if he went overboard with this recent incident on purpose. I’m not saying this is definitely how it is but I wouldn’t be surprised.
When I was growing up I knew this insurance salesman. For the sake of this story, let’s call him my dad. My dad was a proud guy and would get upset when people wouldn’t buy insurance from him or when they cancelled their existing coverage. My dad remembered these people. Most of these people owned their own businesses and from time to time they would go out of business. My dad would love to tell me that they went out of business because they cancelled their coverage. Would he gloat about it? Definitely. Is it a little bit twisted and spiteful? Oh yeah. Do I exhibit the same behavior based on the generational stronghold forced on me by my father? Without a doubt. As you have read in previous blogs I can hold a grudge and be spiteful to others for wrongs of the past. Ask Darrell Jackson, that punt muffing SOB. Well, when I get the most upset is when talented football players scorn UF for lesser schools. I was really upset at C.J. Spiller for picking Clemson over us and Antonio Cromartie for picking FSU. I wish them the worst and if the worst happens, I chalk it up to this really F***ed up Karma I believe in that was instilled in me by my father. That being said, Nu’Keese Richardson, I hope you’re happy up there in Knoxville. You caused such a stir with that whole recruiting violation scandal that Lane uncovered. You must be on top of the world up there. Big fish in a small pond; they probably love you so much that they just give you things for free.
Unfortunately like many stupid people, you ruined a good thing. Didn’t your mom and dad ever tell you that if you want something you should say please? No? Oh they told you that if you want something you should rob someone at gunpoint? Oh, well okay then, enjoy prison. Here’s the story. http://www.gatorsports.com/article/20091112/ARTICLES/911129967/1136?Title=Richardson-2-other-Vols-charged
Now what you’ve been waiting for this week: Cock. I love male gene…
So gay this week and I apologize. I would have loved to do my same bit from last week when I talked about “The Commodores” and actually talked about the disco group, but if I get any gayer this week I’d have to rename my blog TroyAikmanShowerScene.blogspot.com.
I’m going to actually talk about the game this week based on its huge implications. I’m scared. I know we’ve blown them out 3 years running, and I know SC is faltering, but it’s Spurrier. Period. You can’t trust him. That sounds weird but it’s like an old friend you’re going to lunch with who has wronged you before and you don’t want to get hurt again. To be more specific, it’s like when
Sid Justice left Hulk Hogan hanging in that tag match against the Undertaker and Ric Flair during the Saturday Night Main Event leading up to one of the finest double-main event wrestling cards of all time. Of course we all know how it turned out at Wrestlemania VIII and the obvious parallels to the 2006 championship season are apparent Back to more hetero stuff.This rivalry is so interesting because it arrived basically out of thin air. We dominated them every year and then all of a sudden in 2005 and 2006 we have two of the most monumental regular season games in Gator football history. Arguably the 2005 game is the worst Gator loss of all time and 2006 could be considered the greatest victory. Before the 2005 game I was kind of worried about my Gator allegiance. I loved (still do) Spurrier and I loved the Gators; I was worried I would be torn in some weird way. Believe me I wasn’t. I took that loss worse than any loss I have ever seen. Beating Spurrier in the manner we did in 2006 was at the opposite end of the spectrum as we all know. Part of me feels tomorrow’s game could be like either of those and not the blowouts of the past 3 seasons. However part of me knows that when a Spurrier coached team spirals out of control, they don’t do it half assed; they nosedive into the ground.
Based on that, I feel that the Gators will continue the recent trend and dominate but not to last year’s extent.
Game Prediction: Florida 34 SEC 6
Random Thoughts of the Week
Would we call an Asian girl wearing that now popular Alabama checkered fedora “Panda Bear Bryant?”
If you’re watching a Gator game at home with your wife and she takes a phone call right at kickoff say, “Hey honey, I’m trying to watch the game can you take that outside.” When she walks out the door, lock it and make her realize the error of her ways. See the first blog if you’re unsure of the rules. You don’t go to social events during Florida games, you don’t look Chris Doering in the eyes, and you sure as shit don’t take a phone call during kickoff of a Gator game! I definitely didn't have the balls to do this by the way. Love you, baby.
Must Watch Web
Gotta gay it up just one more time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbjNNrO8CeM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpoaC_XHVSY&NR=1
Did Bob Tebow design his wardrobe? Also, someone’s definitely got Gary Busey teeth.
Fact of the Week
If you have an “apostrophe” in your first name, you have a 75% chance of serving 10 or more years in prison. Look it up, Nu’keese.
Weekend Football Forecast
My slap in the face pick goes to Stanford over USC. The Vandy of the Pac 10 just got picked to beat the cheating Trojans. If USC played in the SEC they’d be well on their way to a losing season this year and I feel they are yet again ripe for an upset.
Last week’s record: 4-4.
Cincy over WVU, Wake over FSU, UNC over Miami, Bama over Miss St (close), TCU over Utah, Pitt over ND, UGA over Auburn, Ohio State over Iowa
Season Record: 50-42
Current Championship Predictions:
BCS/SEC: Florida
ACC: GT
Big East: Cincinnati
Big 10: Ohio State
Big 12: Texas
Pac 10: Oregon
BCS Buster: TCU*
*Changed pick since last week. ND is done; thank the Catholic gods, and I don’t see Boise being able to jump enough teams down the stretch if TCU stays unbeaten.
If you have any questions, comments, or hate mail, please email me at VoiceoftheGators@gmail.com. I want to get a fan mail segment going so please drop a line.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Voiceofthegator
You’ll get an update every time a new blog is up or when I finally fail to mention that FSU lost to USF earlier this season. I’m sneaky like a snake, FSU.
The Voice of the Gators
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